It's my opinion and I am entitled to it…or am I?

I sent this article to a friend of mine today after a long and fabulous discussion about our society and this need to steer clear of  'controversial topics'. My friend, to be fair to her I will call her Sue, was recently with a group of colleagues after work having drinks when the discussion turned to the leadership race within with the Alberta PC party. One of her colleagues said, yeah I am staying out of this one, you know how Joe gets when we disagree with his political point of view.  Sue was disappointed that a group of professional adults would not have a discussion about politics. Sue and I talk politics all the time, we talk about pretty much anything and often disagree but we always enjoy our conversations and sometimes we even learn a thing or two from each other (mostly me learning from her!). She asked me why I thought people behaved like this, Sue asked me if this was a Canadian thing, Sue is from the States.

Maybe it is a Canadian thing but really I think it is a human nature thing or rather deficit. We like to be right and somewhere along the line (school and parents drop the ball here?)we are taught that we are all entitled to our opinions. We are often not taught or we don't learn that our opinions should be informed and based on thought, facts and maybe, even some controversial discussions. This led Sue and I to a conversation about emotional maturity and how this interacts with how people respond to political/controversial/sensitive topics and how we in turn react to people when they become heated/defensive around the 'fierce conversation' at hand. Sue said to me, "some people are just unkind and self absorbed". Yes, indeed some people are just unkind and sadly too many are self absorbed but more likely I think they are probably dealing with their own stuff and just trying to make it through the best they know how and I think most people are truly scared of having their opinions challenged. Far too many people just do not seem to have the tools or skills to really think about their own thinking and to think about why they say what they say, what they believe and the things they do or don't do. For our democracy to function as a democracy isn't it essential that we share our informed thinking and that we seek to understand where others are coming from?

I think the greatest gift we can give our children is to teach them to engage in thoughtful, compassionate and wise conversations. Challenge them when they say, "but I feel this way because, or I think this because" or the favourite one, "I can think what I want". Our kids don't get enough practice engaging in thoughtful and informed discussion; discussion that even if it gets heated will remain respectful and will end with people being heard particularly when there is not agreement. I love this quote by Harlan Ellison, “You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” 

To the Moms who need a little strength tonight—you are thought of and loved

Mother's Day is one of my favourite days of the year. I love the hand made gifts created by my kids; the gifts are scattered throughout my home hanging on my walls and placed on my desk, grounding me in memories and love. These treasures nourish my soul when it feels a little depleted.  I am blessed and tomorrow I get to celebrate how fortunate I am to be a mother to four amazing young people. What a joy and privilege it is to be a part of their journey on this earth. 

I love mother's day because I get to celebrate my mother and there is much to celebrate and be thankful for. I celebrate her for her strength and for her constant striving. It is only now, as a Mom myself that I appreciate the strength that she found after losing our Dad and having three little ones to raise, on her own. I think about you Mom as I tuck my six year old in tonight and I snuggle next to him and appreciate that his little world is pretty perfect right now. I was only six when Dad died and my world changed forever. So much of what is shared between two parents was forever placed in your two hands and you have carried the weight so well Mom; I can only imagine how heavy the load was at times. I now understand the sadness and fear that you must have felt and yet you got up every morning and made it through each day with us. Thank you. 

Tonight I think about the Mom's who are tucking a blanket snuggly around a wee one and as they wrap their arms around them they wonder if there will be enough food on the table tomorrow morning or if they will have enough money to pay for the school field trip that everyone is going on. I think of the Mom whose child is ill—the pain and the fear that must run through your veins when your baby is sick and you cannot heal them, it makes my heart ache. I wonder how you do it? Your little ones feel such love and strength even if you feel as though you cannot do it anymore. 

Tonight as I lay with my son I think of these Mom's and hope that you all know that you are appreciated. Your children will be strong and resilient because you strive and learn from each failure and each set back. Your children will appreciate what it means to work hard and care for others because they see you work two jobs and they know what it means to save and to appreciate every dollar earned. Your children will give back to their community because they see you volunteer and they know that you are loved by others for your heart work and not for the money that others flash around. You are loved and you are helping to nurture and build a stronger, more compassionate society. 

Thank you to the Moms who try to lighten the load for another Mom who may be struggling. Thank you for choosing not to judge but to love and offer an ear and compassion. YOU do make a difference and you are loved. 

Happy Mother's Day~ 

Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts." ~~Charles Dickens